Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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