I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
