Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
