so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
