What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
