So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
