I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
In America we eat man semen.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
