I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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