Kiss
Puke
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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