Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
