Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
