its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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