I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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