The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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