I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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