I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
