I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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