oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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