Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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