Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
