I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my phone needs a breathalizer
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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