In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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