No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
