youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
