If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
