On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize