honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
