; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Edward fifth and chaser hands
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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