i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
