i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
