I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I wear drunk well.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
