After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
