he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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