Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
