I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
