it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
