I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
