sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
