so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I am mentally ready for anal.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
