but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
