If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
