the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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