last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
