Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
