I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
her vagine was all disorganized.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
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