Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
