I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
