he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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