Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i permit you to call me
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
