Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Alive.
So much puke
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
