guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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