Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
