My nipple is on Facebook.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
