Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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