no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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