Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
