this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
