i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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