They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
