I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
