some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
