i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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