Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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